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       Today is 19.2.2011 and the truth is that I
had a lot of great sex  and now I am thinking how
I would write everything here:   what I can never
write anywhere.   It's really hard, but since I'm
an exhibitionist bastard        - and if I wasn't
ashamed of my shapeless body,    I would go to do
hardcore porn  - I'll fog it up as soon as my ego
allows   - I won't write names, I'll get involved
in always like the biggest dude and such.
       I was shortly before seventeen       and I
already knew that it was coming tonight:  because
yesterday: I was already very,  very close to it:
that finally - when it gets dark - something will
be whispered to me        and today I also got it
confirmed out loud on the phone,    I called from
the booth and I was scared terribly    (I'm still
scared)
       And that's why it probably didn't turn out
very well,   those evenings before that were much
better:   when my mouth ached from kissing and in
the next room the guys were watching a video    -
even then she was watering profusely        - now
properly bushy      - a plant of my exhibitionism
- they knew well   what I was hugging next to me,
what my hands were full of    - I was the boss of
all the bosses with swollen lips  and with a sore
smile - oh V.
       I guess     we should have left the fabric
between our loins - it was really great:  how did
you return the pressure on your pubis    - when I
always realized you were really doing it - it was
like in the heaven at noon.     We shouldn't have
ruined it with that useless skin pedantry -     I
guess        we could last a few more sweet weeks
together, and who knows, maybe longer.
       I was well past sixteen   and I wanted to:
so that everything  would go one hundred percent:
not today: I told Pal      - when he asked: if he
should bring pancakes in the evening.  I shook up
the duvets, set the tapes in our places      - an
imaginary rest time:      when you blindly push a
blue maxell      - somewhere in the far door in a
distant cassette player and click ..




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