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If you are there or somewhere here: Lord: so you love me surely: and: you would not want me to
perished and sacrificed myself in cruel pains.
I can not be a Christian: Lord - I would no longer live from the fear and suffering: your
religion is not salvation for me: I'm hereditarily anxious and frightened: from an occasional
intimidating upbringing of the hard-working: more confused Liptov-folks.
:I'mm still horrify with the same sort of serious speech: that: "if you do not do that - it
will be bad - because one suffocated like this and his child died: he open the door: and breaks the
baby's back - Orava and Liptov life full of stories about lost lives: frozen boys and lung cancer.
Someone has a weaker psyche and this destroys her: and: someone will finding in this the fuel:
for a tumultuous evening prayer. I can not believe: that: those harsh early-feudal stories: have a
relationship to my life: that: every little act: what I have done whimsically: every word: what I
have just said naively and lightly - is deposited somewhere to the weight: and: they will scare me
there: until the end and forever.
I know: that: I will go to hell Lord: because I'm saying it: as if I have the choice - that
there is some possibility to choose God: or not to choose - but: Lord: you know: I try not to hurt
others: and not to steal: and not to kill: and to live in no case just for myself - but I don't
believe in you - it's up to you .. I hope you will not be so vain: and: you will not damn me
therefore.
:And if you will: so we have nothing more to say: you are just another of those miserable
powerful self-devourers.