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       "In the end: is it always about love? My story too?" :I asked myself in surprise: when
I realized: that even if I had to walk away from Lena: I very thoroughly don't want to. I can
not! What is it? Do I care about her?
       "I do:" I answered. 
       "But why? When did it happen?"
       I was already resigned to the inevitability of my termination:         when I suddenly
recognized her among the other guardians. I felt the dark bond:    that had formed between us
even before we were born: and I climbed it like a lifeline back to the real world.
       Whenever she returned: I hid among her bad memories: it was easy: because I was always
their king. I watched her silently for a while and wondered what I could do.  I noticed:  she
was sad: almost on the verge of despair - but I: dissolved in her: I was happy - I was whole:
and finally saw the driving force of the universe.
       No.. 
       Yes.
       I remembered: how I used to look with disdain  from the bus on the way to work  at the
sign spray-painted on the wall of the old market house: "god is love."
       "And milk is water:" I thought cheerfully every time.  But it's true  - I've had it in
front of my eyes for ages - there is no God - because love is that God.
       All that evil was just a waste of time.
       From that day on: I wanted to do everything to make Lena love me. Unthinkable. I know.
I am: and always will be the last man on her list. But on the other hand: no seducer has ever
been favored as I was. After all: isn't fusion the highest form of love?
       I was immersing carefully  into the beloved being  to get to know her: and to have all
the trump cards in my hands: when I address her for the first time.
       I took her first steps:  ran in her wet skin through her first May storm:  climbed her
first cherry tree and swam her first wide lake.
       Somewhere  in the middle of her dream realm:  I discovered one special afternoon:  she
spent with her father  at Lunapark:  and just as the void  was about to embrace her again:  I
said:  "I have tickets for you to all the merry-go-rounds - any no is allowed."