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I've never been a big eater. I usually throw something into myself to quickly get
rid of hunger and run off to do something else - to people: who asked me with their oily
lips: "then what do you live for?" :I returned the same uncomprehending look: "and you??"
I would never have guessed: that I would miss food and taste the most from my mate-
rial existence.
I first felt this lack: when I finished creating a large forest inspired by the
works of Paul Cezanne.
I built a house in the middle of it: and put a still life with an apple on the
table. Everything was beautifully pastel: pinkish leaves rustled outside the windows: I sat
down on a wooden chair: reached for the fruit: caressed its rough texture - and then it
happened:
As I took a bite: I remembered one of the many juicy events of my garden-filled
childhood .. orange autumn and slowly melting fragrant jonagold sand in my mouth .. and I
realized with horror: that something: I've never noticed before: something essential and
difficult to grasp: was painfully missing.
And always and everywhere.
Then I visited a thousand hotels: restaurants: and soup kitchens: where: in count-
less dishes: drinks: and desserts: I could not find this mysterious and elusive thing any-
where: but I found Lena there.
She was sitting in a small: cozy cafe in the middle of an ocean of lava: and a big
rainbow watch with a fountain and dolphins splashed on her wrist.
"We know each other definitely:" I managed to make her laugh: and a few days later:
we met again.
When she told me: that the academy had put out auditions for external operating and-
roids: and she had already applied - it immediately occurred to me: that I might find my
answers - out there - so I pushed my hellishly devilish pizza aside: and in two days I ope-
ned my eyes on Saturn.
Later it turned out: that the constructors evaluated taste as an useless sense: sin-
ce the android does not have a digestive or excretory system: does not eat or drink: but it
was still a step forward for me - because I could freely indulge in smells: to touch real
food and: in addition to piloting and operating various building machines: I often spent
time in the kitchen cooking assorted meals and watching people eat them.
In the moments: when they placed delicate morsels in their mouths: chewed them
delightfully and swallowed them with pleasure: I could almost feel that enigmatic admixtu-
re on my tongue.