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       On my way back: I was moving more in the jungle of my consciousness:    than in the
surrounding rainforest  and almost touched a camouflaged soldier hiding in the undergrowth
by the road:  and if he hadn't run  and disappeared along with several other black shadows
in the bungalow - I would have entered there: from my consciousness: straight into eternal
unconsciousness.  Although: after their quick black mission was over: I felt for a moment:
that maybe it would be better not to live in this fucking world:   where people are killed
in their sleep and their bodies are gathered out on the grass like trophies.  But only for
a moment - then I silently cried and regretted not being Alia and like most frail academic
geniuses   - I hated combat training classes   - and that I couldn't bloody  and painfully
slaughter those vile bastards.
       I went around the base in a wide arc:      and after about two hours of fast monkey
walking: I climbed an old Brazil nut tree.  Then I broke off one branch and waited until I
saw my taxi coming.
       It was a very ridiculous and desperate plan: but I couldn't think of anything else:
I was terrified and naked and alone  .. and so: whenever something dark seemed to come out
of the haze: I was waving the branch: stretching my neck: and straining my ears  .. but in
vain - no taxi showed up.
       In the afternoon: the fog cleared a little: and in the distance above the canopy: a
black plane flashed  - I realized: that I was taking a risk  - besides wasting time  - and
that: I was thirsty and exhausted.  I moved to a place in the crown:  where the most light
shone: I hugged the thick branch tightly also with my legs: and thought: what I would do.
       "You must return:"       for the hundredth time my inner voice closed our turbulent
imaginary discussion and I climbed down slowly.
       After a thorough observation:  lasted until late at night: I found out:  that three
soldiers remained at the base - two men and one woman.
       They had already figured out: that this is one of the few places on earth: where it
is still possible to breathe without respirators: and they were contentedly walking around
the yard: between the sheds: warehouses: and all over the bungalow.
       Just about midnight:  I think:  one of the men  took an ax from the shed: mutilated
probably   the last  living specimen of Honduras mahogany   growing in front of the orchid
greenhouse:   and started  a beautiful crackling fire    in the brick fireplace  under the
gazebo.
       During that time: I guess: it occurred to me: that maybe I could kill them    - and
after another few minutes filled with their carefree conversation and cheerful laughter  -
I knew for sure: that I would kill them all.