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       The boys somehow managed to smuggle alcohol onto the ship again:    the evening was quite
merry: the Butterfly leaned towards me at one point: I saw it in him: that he was there again  -
that he had the fog in his head        - I expected him to whisper: that we are invincible Roman
warriors  - but he told me that Simone's cat came back yesterday obviously in the family way   -
she stayed with her for two hours - and then disappeared somewhere again.
       It wouldn't be strange - cats sometimes disappear and sometimes come back - but this only
one living cat on the starship Sector D: during her two-week disappearance:  became scandalously
pregnant.
       Butterfly then looked at me in that shiny way all evening: I understood:    that I have a
tendency to fall in love with persistently manifested infatuation.
       When I was in a summer camp for young cynologists: I fell in love with a much older girl.
She wasn't very pretty - she often kissed and caressed her boy in public  - which bothered me at
first: but after a certain time: I couldn't take my eyes off them: how she held her breath: when
he touched her neck: and: as after the first kiss on the lips:   they both:  always opened their
mouths - maybe I more fell in love with their frank love: which I saw live for the first time.
       We boys: we were accommodated in a big room with bunk beds: I remember how disappointed I
was: that all the upper beds were already taken   - later as young soldiers: we all wanted to be
down: where you are more in your private little house with a ceiling  - where you can touch your
photos and dreams.
       All the photos from my summer camps  exist only in chemical form  as occasional images in
my mind - Adriana's caressing hands: girls' room with nicely made beds:   brighter and much more
fragrant. :My first and last dog: Axis: beautiful German shepherd with a long pedigree:    whose
thoroughbred exterior hid a cold-blooded all living thing serial killer.          :The absorbing
conversations of older boys: gentle flirting: girlish laughter     (they're actually short films
rather than photos) Adriana's wet kisses: Love: Love..
       I often think of those times here: in my little private house:    touching the attic with
Alia's last photos: which she managed to send me: before we were cut off  - she is so beautiful:
when I come back I want to be emerald..
       Why didn't I refuse this mission? Why did I leave her alone?        Why didn't I tell the
doctor: that the situation has changed - I can't be his sleeper agent anymore. :How is that even
possible - that he didn't read it from me - He's not used to being wrong about people.  :Anyway:
the omniscient academic: will be very surprised: when both ships return to earth