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       Today is March 12, 2011   and the truth is that from an early age - with pleasure: I suffer
from various self-deceptions: they're goading me: they're nudging me forward gently - I like them:
they make me feel special - the one in question: the only one in the world:  and when I later find
out painfully: what terrifying delusions they are: that part of the way is already behind me:  I'm
further: I can look over my shoulder at something: and most importantly: I live.
       Then I update my self-deceptions: and I'll step forward briskly again.     One of the first
astraying of my mind: was about the fact: that when I look at a bright area for a long time: I see
microbes flicker - and I'm the only one in the world: who can do this.
       My heart always started with beating: when it appeared in my peripheral vision:  a distinct
sphere with a kind of core: or a translucent worm-like structure      - and I immediately began to
think upset - how sweet it will be - when it bursts:       and people will be marveling about this
phenomenal phenomenon.  With a thunderous applause: I will demonstrate:   somewhere on the science
platform: next to the bulletin board  with expressive formulas: my unique genius: and I'll descend
the narrow steps: to shake hands with the greatest personalities of the Earth.
       II was a little confused: whenever I want to focus on those formations:      and study them
thoroughly - they disappear somewhere to the side - as if they are ashamed: and then: they usually
don't appear anymore. I can only look at them furtively           - they shyly floats in the quiet
transparent periphery of my sight:   but they don't move on their own - they're kind of weird: too
crystalline.
       I don't remember exactly: when I understood that these are  - in fact: only small cracks in
the cornea: and denser places in the liquid     - that fill my clear blue eyes.    I think someone
also told me insensitively: "I have it too."  :when I described my mission zealously:  to continue
directly and immediately in the Pasteur message - but certainly from that day on:   I became more:
and more convinced: that the little white elephant: which my father had bought me on carousels: is
made of real ivory: I will sell it for a lot of money:  and in the museum under it will be written
on a piece of paper: donated by Peťo Krutek


       Today is December 16: 2022: and I don't know why: I didn't like the boy in me ten years ago:
maybe I missed you then already: