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       Then I stopped perceiving the screen. I was completely overwhelmed by excitement:
or rather nervousness - I was simply not sure: because: there was still the possibility:
that: she doesn't realize it.
       My body: but: had no doubts: it felt clearly:          that something intimate is
happening: and behaving accordingly.
       It warmed up: arched my chest: rushed my blood: and:     aroused some instinctive
expectation in me: which quickly turned all my attention to the right.
       I know: that one must be very careful: as far as the body is concerned: and about
its guaranteed feelings - my classmate once trained me in this direction:   her name was
Anna: and it very bit me on my cheek.
       That's why I didn't even move: and I tried not to listen to my body.  :But to put
my foot away: and thus end the whole thing: I also couldn't.
       Probably because: it flattered me - her interest    - and I didn't mean to offend
her: I don't know:          maybe I was just reluctant to throw away chance for a little
adventure. :Anyway: there must have been something in the darkness down between us: with
each passing second: I was more convinced.
       People don't behave like this - they pull away: dodge: they get an electric shock
and recoil.
       She did't.
       I could clearly feel her fingers moving: she had curled them:    and straightened
again: and by then she was really hit me: and since we were both there with someone:  it
was even more conductive: and surely: for this reason: it seemed to me:     that it took
forever.
       I felt her still blurred: there on the right - legs a little apart:   a hand with
pale fingers and a small shiny watch: time was running.
       Maya took a deeper breath next to me at times:            Nikolas Cage's sad face
disappeared smoothly from the shot: and my curiosity suddenly boiled over  - I realized:
that I was just waiting for an opportunity: or let's say a sign:   and when Maja laughed
out loud: and in a moment the others in theater: I suppressed my usual urge:  to look at
her: and watch: how she makes that laugh.
       Instead of that: I turned to the right: and made sure: that I have no idea:   who
the shaggy brunette is.
       She could be about twenty years old: shaggy was deliberately:      and relatively
sophisticatedly: her friend was just whispering something to her: and I knew:   that she
realized my gaze: because she froze for a second.
       But even then: she did nothing with our dark connection.

       We arrived late:     I only had a very vague knowledge that the seats around were
occupied: and I immediately tried to grasp the plot.
       Originally we wanted to go to a cafe: or a pub for rum tea:       but it was full
everywhere: or disgusting air: and it was cold outside.
       An advertisement for some festival hung at the bus stop: and Maja said:  let's go
to the cinema. It sounded: like a little Grizzly in a pot: but: she meant it:   because:
she said it out loud.
       :Because she knows very well: that: the speech she speaks sounds strange at best:
and she knows it even though: she can't hear.
       Yes: she is deaf.
       And: that I pulled her out is no charity: I've known her for almost a year      -
that's how long we work together: and indeed: one evening: about two months ago: we kind
of got closer: we just both suddenly wanted to go somewhere together.
       Nikolas Cage took a breath: and began to say something: it was obvious:  he cared
about it: but I didn't understand him at all.  Then the image transferred to the other's
face and I sensed: that it is very bad.
       A friend of my shabby stranger stood up - this derailed me a little:  I joined my
legs: and put them aside: so he can pass.
       Then it was interrupted: and whereas some fright or what: remained in me: and:  I
had no desire to take any more risks: I let it go.
       I have not dealt with this anymore: I don't even know: if she was trying anything
more.
       Later I realized: that the guy: in the moment:  when I turned in their direction:
he wasn't looking at her. :With his round wet eye: which protruded from behind her white
profile: he was watching me. For hundred percent: he was encouraging her.     Who knows:
what would happen next: if I realized it right away - we could be fine: but on the other
hand: they were probably interested in both of us: and it wouldn't work.. 
       All I know about Maja's sex life is: that: she has a nice ass and two small tits.

       I took her home after the movie: she didn't call me upstairs:    it was too late:
and I didn't even want to go to that quiet apartment. I was kind of mixed and tired: and
at night I dreamed wildly from it twice.
       As usual: circumstances was evolving towards the intercourse:   I was looking for
some women: and when I found one: it was Anna: my former goddess:      I took her to the
park: I attacked: and I was really busy: when she changed into Maya: who had:  god knows
why: scribbled hands up to the elbow: and everything was irrevocably fucked up.
       Otherwise: my brain always does this to me - grudging bastard.  :When I consider:
what unlimited possibilities does he have: how much he remembers:  what he hides inside:
and: what stupid ragbags he makes of it: so I want to scream.
       Often I can't even recall the face of a person from my past:  and he will project
it perfectly to me: in his 3D cinema: in the original package: a nd when he is in a good
mood: he will also add the color of the clothes: and nails: and:         even the former
weather: rooms and streets: which no longer exist.
       The fucking phenomenon.
       :But never: he won't let me finish things.
       Anna had exactly that hair: what she used to have: long and wavy:     and I could
touch her breasts - in fact: she would never let me do that - but even so:   I enjoyed a
lot of unfettered pleasure with her: and thanks to her:   I experienced the most painful
erection.
       The dream followed precisely this event: more precisely:   it took place the same
evening years ago.
       It was cold: I was breathing wet into a rough checkered scarf:     and everything
went smoothly: until revolutionary surrealism came to light again:  and Maya appeared in
Anna's place: I immediately realized: that I was asleep:      and it was not possible to
return it back.

       The next day - I was in love with Anna again      - if I met her somewhere on the
street: or in store: as last time: I would probably try to pack her again:     maybe I'd
attack her right somewhere behind the shelves.
       Hard to say: what would really happen: because: if I dream of a particular woman:
I always long for her in the morning:  and I really don't know if it only happens to me:
because: the answers of my acquaintances are unconvincing.     They nod and smile: but I
suspect them: that: they really don't feel anything like that.
       It's like a hunger in me: I won't lie - especially physical       - and precisely
oriented to one person.
       I once dreamed of young Madonna and shortly after that:    I left a thousand five
hundred crowns in music store: and to be complete: I larked with men twice.
       In the morning: it was to my great dismay: just as always:      I honestly wanted
husband of my friend.
       Omitting this last alternative: in my opinion: it would have to be most divine to
have long sex with a woman: with whom: I had dreamed the night before. :But this has not
happened to me yet: and when I think about it: it's probably somehow out of the question
- in my sleep I am visited exclusively by women: who are out of reach for me.

       I didn't come across Anna all day: although I bought vegetables for a really long
time: and I walked around the block twice: where she lives. Truth:         she's already
married: and would definitely cool me off in a flash: as soon as I opened my mouth:   my
night-current engine wouldn't help me either.
       I didn't really want to go to work in the evening: coffee didn't work: I couldn't
start my body at all: lastly: I nudged myself out: and there:    the cold evening breeze
woke me up.
       At school: I met Maya on the stairs: as usual: she cleans the locker room:    and
the ground floor: and I clean most of the first floor  - cabinets and special classrooms
only once a week. Together with the janitor's wife: and: one of her cousins Marta: we're
a blitz cleaning squad there.
       Maja smiled at me: she nodded to me and walked to toil briskly.      She was just
disappearing around the corner:     when I noticed her taut thigh underneath sweatpants:
strange how innocently: the mess always starts.
       She didn't want to go anywhere after work: she had a red nose and coughed:    the
flu season was still hunting around: so I didn't insist.
       Actually: thanks to the flu: we started meet also outside the corridors:      and
outside the stairs.
       We still pass there like two dragons - a smile: her nod and my hello.      If she
hadn't always been so kind and polite: it never occurred to me:     that she was somehow
handicapped. :If I didn't know  - people always like to tell you things like this    - I
think I would be: that day: when I first heard her voice: really surprised.
       Thus: much more: because my eyes climbed out a bit too: that's true:     when she
mumbled loudly at me from behind my back.
       I wiped the ribs off the dust: because: our sovereign boss Joseph asked us      -
whether we could clean up the gym.   :Young janitor lady: and even fat Marta:       were
supposedly completely finished:    every single hair on their heads burned them from the
fever.
       I turned around: as if they had shot me in the ass:             and I was staring
incomprehensibly - I didn't understand: Maja repeated it laboriously: I saw:     that it
spoils her mood: but for one moment more: I had to hunt those words out of her mouth.
       Oh - I said: and I was really pleased         - I understood: that: she had found
something in the girls' restroom. I took a white plastic bag from her hands:      a thin
green snake was sleeping at the bottom: and in it: a truly strong-smelling grass.
       Like in the movie.
       The heavy sweet gust could not be of anything else. During the war I smoked a few
funny cigarettes: and anyone would definitely confirm to me: that:    the smell of grass
can't be forgotten: it's perhaps the most easily identifiable stench: what I know.
       It definitely looked like a nice fog party is comming:     I didn't even think of
another option: but I was a little scared: whether Maja will misinterpret it.
       Where do we go? - I asked - and she could feel from my tone: that:   I don't mean
it really seriously - if she could.
       Have you ever smoked it?    - I carefully modeled every single word with my lips:
and I watched her face.
       She still looked like a flight attendant:   I didn't take her out of the smile at
all: rather she: then shocked me: when: after my two amateurish attempts: to pack a poor
cigarette: she took the papers: and: showed me the complete set with perfect thumb work:
with a long not too wet tongue: and with a hard round joint in the end.
       Adorable.
       We sat in the corner of the playground: behind the bushes: next to the basketball
hoop: it was cold: but it didn't blow: we folded our scarves under asses:  and the smoke
was served.
       The best smoking is in the fall:    maybe it somehow corresponds with the rotting
leaf: or: it's just fine: have your own fire on hand.
       It's really hard not to smoke in the fall: especially if you remember: how divine
it was at seventeen: in a shirt: and: in your denim jacket   - light up - and to go take
the world: which was there for thee.
       :And that's how I babbled: after the third pull.  Usually I just meditate of such
serious things (we came across an extra fast ganja).   There was not much light there: I
doubt: that Maja understood some of it: but: when I said - it's a pity: that:  it's such
a idiotic bad habit - and I let out a little air out of my nose: by which:   I wanted to
indicate instead of a dot: what an irony it is: she began to laugh out loud.
       Extremely feminine and truly beautiful.
       Definitely: in her laughter: there was no trace of bear speech.
       :And that was another shock to me. I watched:      as it came straight out of her
throat - high: inside with silver chime: and with some wacky flutes -        a hell of a
contagious sound.  In a moment: it started to shake with me too:   it began to flow from
my eyes and nose: I banged my knees - and so - we went through all the great stages of a
crazy horselaugh together.



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