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Since then: I've been toying with the idea: 
that some people need to use alcohol to dull their extreme natures
and vice versa - others must drink never: because it unleashes their natural monstrosity
We spent three years in that strange smoke
We were breathing it
One morning I remembered Juan Matus: "in pieces: build up a fog around your life and no one then knows: who you are:"
and since then I started to support the fog by smoking
I found tobacco in the seed archive and made totem clay (Prexlar and Dwent were cremated)
I talked to the plants
I assured them: that one day I would become their food
I read poetry to yeast: wandered through the skin orchards and taught beans to shine