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If bad tongues want to denigrate me: this
is a competition: which I declared for myself:
so that I could win it myself - I state in my
defense: that I am dick - but I cannot sell
myself at all - not a little bit - as evidenced
by my life so far as a failed artist - in which I
actually failed even earlier - I became an artist
and until recently - I paid my dad's debts for
almost 15 years - and I regretted myself every
morning from 2:30 to 19:05. So please don't
nominate me - I don't meet the necessary
conditions - in the upcoming competition - I'm
dick and I don't care - I'm nominating myself.
And of course - I announced the competition
mainly from the envy: that I am a poor and
insignificant zero - and even if I spilled to
unboiled water - I still couldn't do it: be so
sexy fucked - for someone to pay me at least with
lukewarm concern.
So let's get to the rules.
In fact, it's not a competition in the
true sense of the word - I'm a dick and I can
sell it - is rather a user survey. This survey
is open to anyone who visits mine proud web and
then will send me an email.
It is necessary to write in the email -
the name of the nominee and the reason for his
nomination - and please - in a nutshell! -
hyperlinks welcome - for example: press
interviews - Facebook status - a series of photos
on Instagram or a new song - author's poem - new
collection of short stories - pictures from the
exhibition - video on youtube - or any documented
public manifestation - which, according to the
user, proves: that the appointed person: is
eligible nominee.
Eligible nominees may be mainly: prominent
man or woman (alternative name competition is:
I'm cunt and I can sell it, I'm sorry, ladies)
who acts in public - for example: singer, actor,
politician, writer, athlete, artist, motivator,
youtuber, commentator, businessman, homeopath and
the like - he's a dick and financially or
socially benefits from it.
Because, fortunately, we can all publish
ourselves publicly today on Instagram and
Facebook - it may become - that some young stars
- are sending their extraordinary dullness and
fluffy mediocrity to the world - with not so
directly proportional tangible success - it will
just come - and so far they're flourishing from
the heritage - or simply somehow - successfully
doing business for money - or for the public
awareness - or in another way, alternatively and
legitimately, fulfilling the grounds for
nomination -
Several legitimate grounds for the
nomination:
1. Ocular stupidity, an openly commenting
non-intelligence, obvious lack of interest in
common sense and bumpkin's arrogance towards the
basics of logic and scientific knowledge - or an
obscure argumentation based on fleetingly
listened pop-cultural shit of the type: even a
few is a many.
2. Obscene and thorough documentation of
one's empty life - its useless and amoral
digitizing - selfie-ing of stiff wooden face -
stubbornly trying to imitate a brain stroke with
smile - photographing shapeless body in the
unnatural, unattractive, rubber-demonstrating and
naked poses, or other unnecessary research into
how to legally show genitals.
3. The striking using of private physical
or mental defects to produce compassion of good
trusting person - who then consumes the obvious
shit. Or other manipulative and shamanic
practices that - under the guise of opening new
horizons - motivate to an expensive purchase.
4. Pushing up the more weaker-minded
offspring (Attention! Double-nomination possible
here!) and similar pseudo-hereditary
machinations. Alternatively, any other
clientelism - for example: friendly: or
grandfather deserves: or the chick has nice tits.
(That is, any suppression of the absolutism of
talent and authenticity.)
5. Drooling demonstration of one's wealth,
television exhibitionism (smirky tic, poultry
gestures, caoutchouc face, expensive horse teeth)
vainglorious driving in obscene cars, building
tasteless and bizarre houses, open motion in
overpriced branded clothing, invasive
interventions and operations offending the laws
of nature and other - already from a distance
recognizable - behavior - reflecting my grotesque
desire to show - that I am rich or locally
popular anus.
6. Loud recitation of banal bullshit like
for example: Be Yourself, Believe Yourself - or
The Way is The Goal, or: You are the enemy in
yourself, Start with Yourself, Search in
Yourself, There is a Piece of Light in Every
Darkness. Or another simple recitation in order
to sell expensive branded products - such as:
drinks, sports shoes, leather clothing, perfumes,
motor cars, compact discs with nursery rhymes -
exhortation to massive skin tattoos and malignant
bodybuilding, including..
7. Other fucking ways which manifesting
the personal belief that: if I'm rude dick -
I have immediately the natural right to be what I
want.
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