Intro.. ...Back Draw... ..Along Poems.. ...More Reportedly: lot of people appears here with wings for the first time. And even more: in fact: almost everyone: will start flying within two minutes. It is understandable - I also had grand whites on my shoulders. But sometimes I lie under the lamp: I count to ten: open my eyes: and understand nothing. As when orange strawberries were growing from my old bed. I used to have this bed in my room: many times a day I straightened a huge green cover on it. I spent a lot of time with it: because: at that time: I liked to think about rascalities: about riots: and about girls: and also because: that nothing only a small closet fit in there: except a door and a piece of beige carpet. It's true: I vacuumed it every day: and looking at it: I often imagined: that when a girl comes to visit me: she will not be able to sit anywhere else. And that will be half work behind us. Yes: I really liked that old bed: but why did it spread everywhere I saw: and: why strawberries grew out of it: I don't understand. Well - maybe I could understand the first part - It would be real heaven on earth: if the girls and I had nowhere to sit at all - right? - but orange strawberries?! Sometimes the lamp mixes it up a bit - does not read the whole thing - but it must be left: that: here: in the lobby to the Land c: I never had bad feeling - I always learned something about myself. For the first time: I was really impressed. In my opinion: everyone must be - if has only a little imagination: if had at least one beautiful dream - or looked at something beautiful at least once in his life - must be astonished like me. First I smelled the fragrance of needles: and chocolate: and: lights and flashes pressed into my narrowed eyes. I stood up: for a moment I looked at my mighty wings: and then: my eyes pulled my chin up: and put my head on the neck. :A huge Christmas tree towered above me - on each branch was something. I spread my wings - and somehow divinely - by itself: it shot me: between the golden cones: marzipan candies: and honey wheels: upwards to the luminous star at the tip. I was waving with colored lanterns: ruffling the candies: I swayed on silver chains and spat on the sparklers: until the numbers appeared. For the first time: I didn't get further than the lobby.It's clear. When I was a boy: one Christmas: I crawled under the tree and kept very silence there: maybe for two hours. I didn't want to have dinner: nor do anything: even nothing - Grandpa had to pull me out by the legs. I really don't remember any other of my longer continuous activities from those times: apart from sleepwalking sleep. I think it was my first unconventional worldview - so completely mine - mainly because - no one else from the family: would fit under that tree then: and so my first stay under the lamp hit me right in the heart. I was lucky: even though: I flew in the lobby for twenty minutes: and it cost me a fortune: and: I had to wait for the City for another month. Sometimes you just can't leave the lobby. Since then: I haven't been able to do it several times: once I walked down the swan alley: once I was mottled cheetah in love: and once: or twice: the countdown surprised me at sea: in coral reefs: between bubbles. In some places it looked like the inside of an aquarium - I was tickled by bushy plants: I turned the stars on the belly: I was devoured by a huge shoal of flying: and neon fish: and: I found a pearl. I couldn't hurry: my body was long: slippery and supple and full of the sea and colors: and when all was gone: I felt empty - the sea suddenly flowed out of me: and then: I missed it: Such unfulfillment and incompleteness is in me often: I don't want to get up and turn off the wonderful lamp: I stare into her dark hat: on the word Aladding: what shines inside - I'm lying and sighing. That's the way it should be probably: because: if a person gets into his personal paradise one day: can hardly saturate in a few minutes - not even three hours is enough: perhaps: not even weeks would be enough. When the lamp told me enough on the attic: I was collecting myself togheter for the longest time. I was crouching almost halfway through it: and the tomb raider fever boiling in me properly. There were a lot of sacks and boxes left in the back - which I didn't even peek into: and in the dark corners the gold frames of old paintings shone. The red ten infuriated me: I started jumping and yelling: go to hell: usurers: fucking peep show: and so on - after a while I stopped enjoying it and I fell to the ground: but I closed my eyes up to number 4: and: I was cursing at home too. Truth: then it wasn't the fault of the system: it was my fault: I exceeded the two-day health limit. I was rummaging through old things for six hours - I'm a maniac.
And last time: at two weeks ago: I also couldn't get out of the lobby :it's simply a big bait for people: which are a little off like me - to wander in their crazy imagination. Aladding makes great money from us. I just called the entrances and I thought to enter the City: but the Forest was also seducting me: because: there you can do splendid things too - I was pretty heated up: and I was hoping: that I still have a few minutes: but I didn't. But this time it seemed to me: that life is simply divine. A flagrant wide smile widened my mouth: the wind blew in my ears and my lips tingled. I remember it exactly: beacause it was when my old friend Roman called - and my life has moved into a magic hat. Roman's voice was some without juice: but it was great to hear someone real from the past: it matched my lingering feelings: so I quite liked to put on my pants and went out. As I walked out the door: I could still feel the cold taste of snot under my nose: and my hands and feet were frozen from that divine slide: which I left in the lobby. I was slipping with Maroš and Henrieta on our knees: on the buttocks and backs: until it got dark. And Maroš's mom then brought us cookies from the work. Quite as before. The cafe was called Mire. It also strummed on my string. Since I don't smoke: I like a bit mist sometimes: so not even cobweb haze: with whitch we were passing on stairs: didn't mind: and the name .. excellent. I rarely show up in the district where I grew up: however: I can still say: that: I know it. In Mire used to sell desserts: biscuits: pancakes: and strawberries with cream. The dessert spoons were ringing on plates with chocolate: and Snow White slept above the door. When I sat down opposite Roman: my eyes fell on the pillar in the middle of the room: years ago: dwarves smiled from it. (Maybe they're still there now: in the dark: they're staring at the backs of pine boards. I'm convinced of that - the frescoes will be from them in three hundred years.)
Roman looked like his old photos from school: even less than me. The first thing I noticed was his hair - they looked normal: they shone nicely next to each other: and they did not resemble the former intertwined threads at all. I guess I wouldn't even know him so sleek: if we just met somewhere on the street - the bush - which he always had on his skull - seemed indestructible - and even the hairdressers had due respect for it. The second thing was the hand he gave me: Although the same size: but terribly white and soft. And his eyes were kind of glassy. - I'm glad you came - he said and smiled: but because of that hand and eyes: it sounded rather sad. - Sure - I was looking forward too. - Many times you promised: that you will show up. (This did not sound like a reproach: and his voice got some more bright color.) - I felt kind of stupid with you. - Why? .. We talked about you often. - And I often thought of you - I said cheerfully and loudly - because tears began to press into my eyes. I didn't even sit down properly: and I was already moved. It happens to me almost always: when I'm trying to express love. It can also be a guy: and I don't even have to like him: if we drink together longer - I may have a fit of affection at some point. But with Roman it was different: I was not drunk: he was really close to me: even though: we haven't seen each other for a few years - I've probably never had a more intimate friend. We ordered a bottle of red and coffee. The barmaid had a black miniskirt: and her thighs and then looks: which Roman and I exchanged: they did something good with us: we were briefly united by a male conspiracy: and the introduction was suddenly over. We started talking about old acquaintances: about things: what we experienced together - who: whom: and when met: where he works: with whom Linda lives: and: why Beata is still so pretty. - I saw her at the concert: she applauded there aristocratically. Abnormally slow. - Bastet. - Michal told me she was completely divine. - She will be his virus until death: when we meet: he always talking about her. - Do you remember: his tossing in the air for birthday? - Shit: he had to hate us well. - I was the only one: who didn't flee to sit down: when the teacher came in. But I just held poor guy's feet. At this last Roman's sentence: a mild ha-ha seizure possessed me and for a minute: I attracted cafe attention: and also his shoulders and chin shook a little. But only a little.
Long: very long: I didn't even mention her. I knew he was sad about her - that he called me - and all those clues - I thought: that she left him or something: and it seemed right to wait for him to start on his own. But he didn't start: so I had to ask: there would be nothing to talk. In fact: she was almost everything between us - Our little Natasha - in the fifth class: the tallest of the girls: endowed with a magnetic manners - no pronounced beauty: but already a woman. And Roman noticed it first: no doubt. I remember hot wavy lines: which he outlined with his hands: when we stared at the girls on the playground: and his wrinkled approving chin. About a week later: I told her on the same ground: that: she is beautiful - I think she stopped growing that day. In a few months: I was already skylarking like obsessed: because she said - I'm the equal for everyone - and that made me a slave. She really never made a difference: she was always nice: she always answered kindly and she smiled kindly during it. Really bestial good girl. Soon there were more of us: those they wanted more - more attention: more smiles: and more everything: and I: in particular: chased her like a hundred fools. I accompanied her to lunch: I watched her in the locker room: in physical education. Once I even climbed a tree opposite the school clinic: and watched: what the dentist was doing to her. And I lied terribly. Unbelievably. That I have my own horse: that we have two apartments: that I know exactly: what I want from her. She once told me: that her two siblings were born deformed - or was she saying that to a classmate and I happened to be there? ... I don't know exactly anymore. Well, anyway: I didn't even take a deep breath: and a scary story about my little brother Mario: who lived only twenty-eight hours: flew out of me. The end. My imagination has always been fast: and as far as: the opposite sex is concerned - even monstrously: and with artistic inclinations. I was definitely very creative: in terms of courtship: and Natasha had to put a lot of effort into - be the equal for everyone: and don't send me to hell. Later: I wasn't such a terrible clown - I fell in love with another: or I was not interested in all of them: and I got the style - but it can be said: Natasha syndrome kept me more or less whole school. We went to high school - each to a different one. Roman and I met little for the first two years. If I take into account: that before: we were together every day - for sure. Then it was restored again: and especially in solo periods without girls: we were an inseparable couple. We also look like brothers in the photos. Somehow we lost our virginity at that time (Roman a lot more stylish: dick one) we learned what about smoking on breaks: about spending the night on school trips: and we successfully completed everything: with a graduation party. From time to time we of course remembered Natasha: and we pulled her out. Both - because she was still equal for everyone: although sometimes she also needed to talk about some boy. When she invited us to the prom: we were already great friends: and if Roman and I had not agreed one evening: that: from now savagely: and everyone for himself - it would definitely take until now. (Or at least longer.) But then it was no longer possible. Beacause shortly before: we tickled all together on my green bed for a long time: and: there wasn't much light back then: so we were leaving from there some kind of hot and red: and who knows: if the two of us would actually leave - but Natasha suddenly bent over: stood up: and disappeared in the hall. I don't know: if I was disappointed: that: she finally chose him - rather offended. And it bothered me: that he was touching her. Even though I sat opposite him after six years: and: I remembered those few of my meetings with THEM: something still bit me faintly. But only for a moment - until Roman told me: that: Natasha is dead.
The first thing what occurred to me then: was to laugh: and: I suspect: that I also chuckled: somehow aside: and: I raised my upper lip inappropriately. - When did she die? - yes: now I know: that also this: I said with a smirk. - Two months ago. - Why didn't you call me? - I said hard - but only because: I finally began to control myself: or: I was starting to get close to it. - You have another number: and: your mom doesn't live here anymore. I couldn't find you: and tell the truth: I was pretty out to look for you - Roman emphasized every single word. - What has happened? - She had an accident: she did not stop at crossroad - replied Roman: and as he sighed: he had pictures in front of his glass eyes: which I very wouldn't be interested in. And you: where have you been? - I kept my eyes on him. I don't know why: I was a judge. - At home. She left me at Christmas: we no longer lived together: when it happened. A torturously long strike of the match left in my ears - I exhaled at the same time as the man: who blew: at the side table: his next first smoke: and: I reached my hand over the table: but again it sounded ridiculous - condolences - former adolescents have contact with death. Natasha. Absurd. I'd rather drink fast. - How did you find me? - I coughed out: between two sips of wine. It seemed to me: that: Roman was relieved - his voice was stronger: when he explained to me: that he knew from Boris: where I work now: and told our dispatcher: that a distant family member died. - You're good - I praised him: because he was. - I haven't done anything else in recent weeks: only stalked. - You didn't have to so much - I sighed and swallowed the sour coffee-wine saliva. - I had to: I want to ask you something Filip. For the first time in years: he really looked at me. :Namely: I felt like he was really seeing me: not just some tragic stain. Finally: his face began to resemble my partner from school.
- It will seem strange to you - he continued - you can easily reject it: I will not be angry. - Go on: let's see. - I assume: you've already visited the land - do you have a lamp? - Yes... - Have you heard of genies? - I read something: that they are working: that: Aladding develops: and that: a complete transmission will be possible in a few years.. - It's already running. Natasha worked for Aladding. So far: quietly: but: they have transferred about one hundred and fifty people since last summer: and at any moment: they release an official message: and an advertisement: that: they are looking for donors. I poured the rest of the wine into me: I was excited - everyone's will be fucked up about this - I kind of forgot: that we have a date with death there: I was abruptly busy in my head: I had loud "shhh" around it: so I don't know much from what Roman said. In fact: I've been making up a lot of things: since he told me about her death. And after that: only fragments really came to my brain .. I'm not interesting to them .. you will definitely go through .. pour another drop of wine - but even so: it started to brighten. - She's in ..? - They transferred her among the first - my cyberpunk friend nodded: and slowly poured from fresh bottle - she has own space there: and access to the Land at any time. - And you want me to find her - I stated: but: not dry. :With fear and expectation. - She just packed up and left. She didn't tell me anything. I can't get it out of my head. We were in the Land. They opened new Savannas at Christmas. We split up: she said she had a mind for monkeys: but I knew she was bored. She preferred to go to the City: and: to ocean language courses. When I got home: she was gone. - No message? - Nothing. I felt like we were happy. You won't believe me: but: when her parents invited me to the crematorium: it didn't hit me as accurately: as her empty closets: and that silly smeared heart in the mirror. - You said she didn't leave any message - I said nervously. Another incredibly enticing strike tickled my ear. - She drew it with lipstick. Long since. We never wiped the place. Such romantic shit. - Okay: and why do you think I'll find her? - I headed quickly elsewhere. Even with my eyes. There under the tiling: on the middle pillar: there were also many hearts: among the dwarves: in a fairytale crayon country. - She once told me: that you knew her best - he pronounced thoroughly again: and looked me straight in the eyes (maybe he lied). And I don't really hope you find her: she doesn't want to be found. I want you to try it: yes: but above all: I want to ask you: to go to Aladding for tests: I'll get you an invitation. :What you can't do: your genie could do it.
- And why don't you go? - I told you I didn't pass. They are picky. - Maybe this is too big sci fi for me.. - I grabbed my forehead: and rubbed my eyelids. It was true: I had some problems with absorption: but not so big (after all: it's The Lamp Age) :and in what he asked of me: I was clear immediately. - Does it hurt? - What? - When they're transferring you? When they create a genie? - I doubt. And you get paid for it. - And what if I don't pass? - You'll pass: you are an artist: you have talent - my great friend smiled at me. The time for flattery also came - he probably had in mind my painting attempts: and strumming a guitar - sweetheart. I said: I'd rather draw something for him - I also had one specific thing in mind - at school we banished boredom: by drawing grimaces: and we cried with laughter. Eventually: I had the opportunity to blame him: that: he had a lot more fun with his creations: and that: I was a little disappointed in him: because mine were much more funny: and then: we poured ourselves wine: and drank on my mission. Yes: I accepted the job of agent 010 - a specialist in virtual worlds: and a heroic feeling: which began to spread with wine along my body: straightened me up and concentrated - I nodded seriously - I aptly pointed out and methodically searched in my memory: when we then took the whole thing more thoroughly. In particular: I tried to figure out: in what I could know Natasha better: than man with whom she lived for several years. :And I didn't come up with anything. Roman explained to me: it don't matter: what I can remember now - the important thing is: what lie inside my brain. - There are things: you have no idea. Faces: interiors - exactly matching shades: full colors of your experiences: the whole your first sex: and maybe: your midwife's smile - he explained soulfully to me: and modeled his words with his hands - it must have happened to you: that: you saw someone from the past in a dream: and: it looked exactly like it used to be: it took place in the same places: even your feeling was the same: or you behaved just as stupid as then. - And I can never make it to the end - I nodded to him with wet mouths. - In the waking state: you can't remember something like that even in rough lines - but it's there. As if it was disappearing just from your reach In the lobby: you can also find yourself in distant places: the lamp often works with the same pieces of brain as a dream. But that: where you find yourself: you can't influence. And sometimes it turns out weird. - Yep - I grunted: and I told him about my orange strawberries: and: the mobilization of the fighting swans. - Imagine: that you have unlimited access to this archive of yours: that: you can freely deal with all parts of your mind: and: you will roughly understand: what your genie can do. - Roman completed his long thought: and looked at me waiting for my amazement. And I was amazed: not for the first time: and not so much: but I was.
- And that's not all. - He didn't want to give peace to my nerves - to start: one hundred stores of space ... :Do you know how much is one store? - One hundred square meters. - Cubical - corrected me: and outlined imaginary cube - and there you can do anything: build pyramids: dig cloud tunnels: flood it with the sea: and live on an island in the middle - anything: even hanging all day with your balls down. Natasha's colleague told me this: he met his genie. Apparently as one of the few: as far as I know: Natasha never had this happiness: they mostly ignore their donors. - That's bad: isn't it? :What if mine will snub me too - Then we're fucked. :But: in my opinion: sooner or later: everyone will succumb. It attracts me incredibly - to meet myself: this is perhaps the biggest part in the whole thing. And it must be taken into account: that: the oldest of them is less than a year old. We will wait. And you still have to think of Natasha - especially before they transfer you: you have to instill: that you have to look for her. It occurred to me: that: I did not understand: how they could not considered him an exceptional personality in Aladding: and I told him so. (I almost cried again.) He shrugged and said: that: they maybe found him some hidden psychosis: or manic tendencies. - I hope they will not mind my Alzheimer - I laughed. - Just don't be a cop - Roman added and we both laughed. :Natasha wasn't so much dead anymore. As we rose from the mud of Mire: the slimy haze was already quite thin: and the lights were blurring strangely in front of me. We agreed: that we will call - or have a date. Roman said: that: we could meet in Land: for example: somewhere in the City: if we'll manage to sync: and thinking firmly over each step - he disappeared around the corner. The night air did me good: on the way home I even contemplated. From that: what Roman told me: from a few hints and clues - he had some idea: inside of him: why she left him. Natasha was very ambitious: her interests: almost all her free time: she subordinated to the desire to mean something: and to earn. Calmer Roman - much less purposeful: and nervous of himself: did not participate much: in her projects: but otherwise: they understood each other very well: she did not rework him in any particular way: did not cause complexes in him. At times: their opinions diverged ugly: but: everything always settled quickly. They must have both said to themselves that it is natural: or opposites attract: or: something similar: at least until Natasha said something completely different: and disappeared. "My lack of personal hunger" - this is how Roman defined it: when he came across her disappearance: and failure in donor tests must have underlined it all in his mind.
The next morning: I got up hard. My body moved without thinking for a long time: from one ritual to another: the cold water did not work. Only at the biscuits: which I ate violently: my consciousness awoke: and: we immediately began to long for each other with the lamp. If I didn't have to go to work: our love would come true quickly. Around noon: Roman called - Does Tuesday suit you: next week? - I'm taking a vacation. - Okay: it's on Garden street: but you probably know: number 444: you will show the invitation in the lobby. It should come to you no later than Monday - in the middle of this sentence: behind his voice: another spoke. :Female. At the end it rised up: but I didn't understand: what was asking. - I have to go Filip - he said quickly and a little quieter: or: he was already putting his hand down with the phone - I don't know - one way or another: I managed to say yet: that in the evening: I am will go to Land: and we hastily agreed: to meet in the Ocean. :Like white sharks. I have heard: that: many people cannot form a clear desire in their minds. They are not able to firmly grasp their desires: and therefore: they cannot change their appearance in c Land. And since this ability is also necessary to call the entrances: they: can't even leave the lobby - They wouldn't even be able to come back. I feel like I know what's behind it - the world is full of things: having brothers and sisters - they need to be collected and improved and upgraded - after reaching one: the other attacks in a flash: and there is no liberation. If a person cannot face this: it will consume his brain and Aladding will lose client. I also have occasional lapses - I would say that: my mental hands are weak and slippery. It takes me a long time: until I concentrate. But usually I just exhale longer: I'll slowly imagine colored arcs around me: inscriptions: City: Ocean: Forest: Games: and suddenly - hop - they are here. And similarly: when I want to transform: I'm concentrating: I'm trying to model the shape of my idea: and other things: other details will complete virtual forces. Of course: that often nothing happens - I can clearly see myself as the god Poseidon with a trident - on the neck of a giant sea snake: or: I can almost feel myself taking the form of a purple unicorn and ... Nothing. Only genie can do the real wilderness here. Since I know about them: always makes me attentive quickly: when I notice bolder curves - shape: which sticks out too much - a more original creature. Roman taught me: that it's best to try the same thing on yourself right away. If the transormation fails: the probability increases: that it is a genie. But sometimes it doesn't work: just because it just doesn't work - just from minute to minute - or because - turn into your dream: is probably much easier: as to turn into someone else 's dream. But Roman is a living master in this. Just a minute is enough: and a small sea turtle with dotted armor swims against her mirror image. Sometimes it can annoy such a turtle - it also happens: that she is flattered: and stops for a piece of speech: but: it can also be very frightening for her: and she will lost in turquoise bubbles. This is how our meetings in the Land take place every time. We talk quietly and he transforms constantly. When we first swam together in the ocean: I was pretty nervous about it. He was shark only a moment (by the way: he was snow white) :as soon as he noticed me: he was already trying to imitate a heart-shaped inflatable fish. Once I lost him completely for a few minutes. I tried to orient myself in a herd of penguins in purple tailcoats: and in the meantime: he turned into a toothy mother-of-pearl. To language school - there we headed: we arrived just before the end of teaching. We only managed to take a class where Natasha learned Greek. Roman was accosting students there: who knew nothing: and saw no one: gained contact for a small lace jellyfish: to which he failed to transform: and it was just time to go breathe. And it was no different: not even the next day - I still had to be careful: what was happening around me. Over the weekend: we were still together in the City: and: once we went to play the war. And then it was Tuesday: and: I had diarrhea like before graduation.
I don't know: if I slept at all: but let's say: that: I woke up at half past three in the morning: and: I was completely clear: no resuscitation. I left out the biscuits: I poured coffee into myself until about eight o'clock: the water was as cold as hell this time. Very purposefully: I kept trying to think about my role - to the fairly ordinary light green building of Aladding - I entered by the most balanced step: and with the coldest expression on my face: in short: so that everyone will not immediately notice: that: I am shitty until behind my ears. My white invitation: made a nice symmetrical expression: on the face of a young man: sitting behind a round desk: and the young woman: who appeared in a few minutes: and took me to the elevator - looked the same. But only at first glance. She had a large sports watch on her hand - it didn't fit to the elegant rest of her clothes: and: she didn't fit to it very well either: with broad shoulders: and boyish gait - a T-shirt rather suited her: or jogging suit: or a kimono. The speech she spoke was tight for her: trimmed just above the knee. - Around twelve: we should be done: if you meet our requirements: Aladding invites you to lunch. - And if not: I'm inviting you - I said promptly: I was nervous. She gave me a longer cold look and didn't smile - I liked her - already this her watch was very sympathetic for me - it looked really awful. - We'll hold you for two more hours after lunch - she continued just as pragmatically - we'll start now. On the fifth floor: we walked a short dark corridor: one of the doors was ajar: music played behind (jazz: sweet trumpets): she opened with her elbow: seated me opposite herself: and we started. First I filled out a questionnaire: namely: she wrote down my answers to her questions. Along the way: I thought about her name: because down in the hall I didn't remember it: and: I became more and more interested in it: mainly because of her skin: which looked extremely attractive in the yellow artificial light. (It was skin type: velvety smooth.) When we finished the questionnaire: she gave me another longer look: and asked me (not so much pragmatically anymore) :to tell her about my experiences from the lobby: what I saw there: what touched me and such. Roman pointed this out to me: so I wasn't surprised: and else: it is my favorite topic: I like to talk about these things: so I think that: I managed to impress her: and when I described to her a swan alley: in which I sometimes walk: she brightly smiled at me. - They're a little taller than me: and: I know: that one of them is mine: and that: they are lined up for scramble. Maybe I saw something like that: in the book: as a child: or I dreamed it: I don't know - it's beautiful. - And then? - Then we fly - she will stretch her neck at me: and peck me to the shoulder: that's how we get to know:: and then: we fly together between warm snowflakes: and everywhere is brownish-yellow light and pieces of fog.
- I'll come back to that cheetah - she said softly like women: which they mention children's mischief. Maybe she had rehearsed it. If so: the illusion was perfect: already for a long time: I felt special: and interesting. Only I still didn't know her name. - When you're running - she continued - are you running from something? Do you feel that you are leaving something behind? No: probably not: definitely not consciously: I rather enjoy speed and jumps. I read: that: the cheetah does not touch the ground in two phases of run: when he has all four legs crouched under belly - and when: they are fully extended in front of and behind him: and I realize this. :And that I'm the fastest. - I understand - she stood up: and came to me. For a second: I was afraid: that: I sent myself: somehow inadvertently: to out: and is going to say goodbye to me: but no. She led me to a room at the end of the hall: and told me: that the last part of the tests takes place in Land c. - I'll say goodbye to you here: maybe I'll see you later - she handed me her thin fingers - Please lie down under this lamp - she pointed at sofa with a strange white appliance: it was more like a big mixer - it's a transfer lamp - responded to my dull look - and a colleague will be waiting for you in the lobby: actually waiting already. See you: Mr. Lemy. "See you" was good: excellent - from her tiny mouth: and when I opened my eyes in the lobby: and my old French bed spread everywhere: I felt really great - like at home. Colleague examiner surprised me a little: probably: that was also his goal. He looked exactly like me that day. He grew up in front of me suddenly: tossed two of my orange strawberries in his mouth: and instead of greeting: he asked: what would I do: if I met myself. But I've already thought about this too: and as soon as I swallowed my appearance (I often feel kind of tortuous) :I replied: that: I would be interested in a few things. That's right. It would probably be useless to deceive these people: what they read in human brains at breakfast: and besides: I was circumvented by the suspicion: that: this is not even a human. - Why are you here? - he simply saw into me: and so: I said everything: about Natasha and Roman: and: about the three of us: and he meanwhile turned into a large brown rat. From what he wanted to know after my confession: should look more like an insect: the best green grasshopper: I like rats. He asked - Have you an aversion to something: resentment: to a human: an object: or: an animal? I explained to him: not at all - I am bothered a bit by hard beetles: but: I know: it's a pose. I used to admire an older boy: he was my role model: and how he hated frogs painfully: it seemed dude to me. So I came up with my own phobia: and: I can't control it today: when I see hard green wing-cases and jointed legs: I have a shiver really. Now I'm going to give you some tasks - said a large brown rat. He did not encourage me in any way: at no hand: he did not let me know: that he understood me: he didn't even raise an eyebrow: but still I noticed: that he has almost human facial expressions: and very special: he had a real face: behind which a specific person stood: I knew that: it was like looking at a master portrait: and knowing for sure: that the man or woman on it - had a real models: with their unmistakable ideas: whims and moods.
- Are you a genie?! - I jumped into his speech. His facial expression was more than an answer - I'll give you some tasks now - repeated more emphatically (he could fulfilled me three wishes rather) - and then - I would like to see your favorite place in the Land. I didn't insist: I focused on his tasks: I discarded the inappropriate: I added the missing: and: looked for the corresponding: logical and close to me. At the end: the entrances grew up around us: and he asked me: where are we going? - I probably prefer the Lobby: when I think about it like that: I often stay there: but: if we have to go to the Land: then ... I don't know - I sighed - it's hard: finding one place. I like to swim in the Ocean: sometimes it seems too turquoise to me: but even the City sometimes seems too ornate to me. I rarely go to the center: roulette and discos: it's nothing to me: but on the other hand - a few times: we had a great time there with friends. It's also great in the Forest: according to the mood: when I have my running moment: I turn into a deer there: or: most recently a cheetah: since you opened those Savannas ... I don't know: I probably won't choose. - Where do you go: when you want to be alone? - he whispered to me: he literally put me on the right path and nudged me. - See? I have felt several times: that your questions are only formal: that you know the answer in advance. And even now it is so. - Does it mean: you already know: where we're going? - Yes: we will go to the City - I said almost triumphantly (according to my smile) :and we went. The city was huge: sky-high: futuristic: glittering: comic: bright: and unfathomably and unnameably bizarre and fantastic. And I was quite in the mood for it all - in that supernatural society: from thousand and one nights. - Shall we take the flying carpet? - I expressed my feelings out loud Again. I couldn't resist: I have a weak nature and: moreover: flying around the city with just hands: it wouldn't be stylish. A means of transport is required: and as wild as possible. - I'll leave it to you: but before that: you could turn into a woman - a slender Asian girl with green eyes spoke from behind my back (that face: pretty and gentle and the same again) - and try not to look like me: I want the own idea from you. This time I was really surprised. It could have occurred to me. I slowly closed my eyes in my head: I exhaled to far away: and gradually: I tried: from the feet upwards: to model a fragile round body. It was a difficult sculpture: it seemed to me that I was hewing a piece of stone: it took me one long minute. At one point: I felt a strong despair: that I can't do it: my thoughts ran away: and the figure: which I had in my head: was shattered into a thousand and one microscopic grains. I opened my eyes: to say goodbye. But then a slender hand touched my smooth shoulder with long fingers: and a smiling voice said - good: Mr. Lemy - I guess you were captivated by non-superficial beauty of my external colleague - I think we'll say goodbye here. You can come back. - Aren't we going to the City? - No: we won't - the place: you selected will be your contact place. If your genie decides to meet you: he will look for you there. Her last words sounded in a fairy tale echo: it was probably a farewell gift: as well as: the way what she left. At first she became translucent: and from half a waist down she began to sharp. Her legs turned into a smoky triangle beginning under the emerald in her navel: and ending with a flickering tip. Then she put her hands on her chest: bowed: and vanished.
A thin strip of smoke: what was left there after her: smelled strong: and when I returned to Aladding: I was sneezing twice. I was in a hurry: but: person: what she told me on the other hand: bless you: she wasn't the girl I was looking forward to. She was taller and perfectly elegant: she didn't let me speak: she congratulated me: and: with natural maternal non-violence: she dragged me upstairs for lunch. :Furthermore: everything went easily officially: and: with a touch of medical precision - that: to make me feel safer. After lunch: and administration (I signed the blue and green forms) some two men in white put me back under the lamp. They warned me: that after reading: I could be disoriented: and sweaty - I should not be scared: that this is normal: and otherwise: I don't have to worry about anything anymore: because: everything will go smoothly: and without my consciousness. And that's exactly how it was. I remembered absolutely nothing: I also forgot about money: which should have been credited to my account: and even that little athlete blew out from my mind completely. At the back of my skull I had a sweaty rolled place: and this wet stain kept me very busy. I was running my fingers through it: I straightened the tangled strands: and stroking my neck. To tell the truth - I don't really know - how I got home from there. Only after a heavy dreamless sleep: at the same time with awakening (as can be seen: thoughts usually visit me early in the morning) :I understood: that I did it: and immediately: as usual: I began to fear: that what if. :What if the genie will shit at me: and what if we pass through: and: what if he doesn't find her: and what if he finds her: and: he won't want to tell me: or: she forbids him: and what if I meet him .. me?? I repeated to Roman. - It's beyond us already: we've done our best: now we will wait. You will show up in the gallery every day: maybe it won't take a year. - And what if will? - So we'll wait two years. Whatever was going on: he was as calm as gravel: what is poured on the graves: From an early age: he was like this: the whole made of sheet metal: he also drank boiling tea straight from the kettle. But I don't. Immediately I imagined two years: 720 days: and how much depends on me: and the fear in me began to thicken to panic. I have a tendency to this - to fear - if things depend only on me: and to experience horror: if I can't influence anything at all. Until at the moment: when I took over again unfulfilled: and: unfinished: and even enchanted and divided - under the lamp: where the darkness is greatest: only then did it occur to me - this is perhaps the only possible situation - when I can count on myself in everything.
It took five days. Every night I quickly overran the vestibule. As soon as possible. Already in the introductory darkness: during the initial countdown: I tried to focus on the entrances: and: as soon as they appeared: I fired into the gothic arch: behind which the City pulsates. Sky-blue translucent wavy hovercraft (my favorite) in ten minutes: took me to the southeastern suburbs: where the sun always shines (It's permanent early evening or night in the center) :and where are all the living museums and galleries. There: in the middle of a renaissance exposition together with David: Bacchus and with all people and deities from the Sistine Chapel: I was waiting for myself. From the beginning: I only thought about it: when I will show up. I was turning sharply: staring blankly and secretly imitated everyone. Later I was calmed by the temple atmosphere: and those masterpieces: sooner or later: they get everyone: and especially creative people: they grab them by the neck and knock them to their knees. Yesterday I was crawling again alongside Michelangelo: and the music: which was playing for me (Across the universe by the Beatles) made my body almost liquid. A second before it happened: I felt with some wolfish sense: that it is close: and I froze. - So what do you think I should look like - my own voice said right in front of me - have you figured it out yet? - sounded higher and squeaky: but clearly it was mine: also the way how pronounced sh. Not even a draft moved around me. - And you can call me Filip. Take it that we are namesakes. - He shouted behind my back: and when I turned around - a thin shaggy boy: who was walking against me in a red T-shirt - was me - exactly from the times: when I loved Natasha. Shirt: sneakers: bitten nails - everything fit. Somehow I couldn't start talking: it was very touching for me again (and the black bird flew across the universe ...) It's simple force - to see: how you changed: the hands: which even now seem quite thin to you: they have become much thicker in the meantime: since you first looked at them with boyish eyes: and the careless smile: what you have: used to be a bit more carefree. - The boys told me: you'd be out for a while - said Filip junior through that carefree smile. - Sorry: you can't prepare for something like this is - but okay - I finally babbled out: and I immediately wanted to laugh from the joy: from pride: and also: from whole that incredible self-talk. - An uncontrollable attack of stress - can have irreversible consequences at your age - he looked at me through his baby's sparkles: he was really nice. Now I'm swimming here in the lobby: and it occurred to me again: maybe I'm Narcissus. Or it's natural: when you look at something: which won't come back. Maybe that's how the father looks at his son. I'm not clear on that. The only thing: which is certain is: since I said goodbye to him: I still have his face (mine) in front of my eyes. And another thing: which doesn't get out of my head is: that: we understood each other very well yesterday. Normally I don't get along very well with myself: my inside: too often doesn't meet my expectations: and mostly fuck my efforts. And yesterday I had a friend. When I assured little Filip: that I am fine: he asked: how is Roman. - I should thank him: I wouldn't be without him. He will surely be surprised: how quickly his plan came to fruition. - The plan will came to fruition: only when you find Natasha. - Yes. We should go now. I said: don't understand: but: I do - that was the stress attack. He approached me: and took my hand. His palm closed quickly with my fingers: and when he pressed everything around us began to revolve. The more distant parts of the gallery: were lost outlines: colors and shapes were merged into a special rainbow with a scattered spectrum: and: it approached us lightly after a great dignified spiral. It reminded me of a waltz: the world was spinning in triple time: and we: I and me: we held hands in the middle like cute siblings at a wedding. And then suddenly the rainbow came to us: and just as easily: maybe even easier: developed into a wide grassy panorama. It took a while: until I got used to the orange African sun: and sharp colors of the Savannah: Filip led me with a tickling rustle: we were silent. Suddenly: a few tens of meters from us: gazelles ran out: and looking at them: I felt the usual desire to change my tall silhouette to a long one with a curved back: and with slender sinewy legs. Oval spots already started to appear on my left forearm: and: my fingers stiffened with the desire to stretch claws .. But then a lying place appeared in the grass in front of us: in the middle of which a tanned woman dozed: and: two children's heads rose: and looked in our direction. - Oh: what a bronze - Filip whistled loudly.
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