Intro.. ...Back
Draw... ..Along
Poems.. ...More
Reportedly: lot of people appears here with wings for the first time.
And even more: in fact: almost everyone: will start flying within two
minutes. It is understandable - I also had grand whites on my shoulders. But
sometimes I lie under the lamp: I count to ten: open my eyes: and understand
nothing. As when orange strawberries were growing from my old bed.
I used to have this bed in my room: many times a day I straightened a
huge green cover on it. I spent a lot of time with it: because: at that
time: I liked to think about rascalities: about riots: and about girls: and
also because: that nothing only a small closet fit in there: except a door
and a piece of beige carpet. It's true: I vacuumed it every day: and looking
at it: I often imagined: that when a girl comes to visit me: she will not be
able to sit anywhere else. And that will be half work behind us. Yes: I
really liked that old bed: but why did it spread everywhere I saw: and: why
strawberries grew out of it: I don't understand. Well - maybe I could
understand the first part - It would be real heaven on earth: if the girls
and I had nowhere to sit at all - right? - but orange strawberries?!
Sometimes the lamp mixes it up a bit - does not read the whole thing - but
it must be left: that: here: in the lobby to the Land c: I never had bad
feeling - I always learned something about myself.
For the first time: I was really impressed. In my opinion: everyone
must be - if has only a little imagination: if had at least one beautiful
dream - or looked at something beautiful at least once in his life - must be
astonished like me.
First I smelled the fragrance of needles: and chocolate: and: lights
and flashes pressed into my narrowed eyes. I stood up: for a moment I looked
at my mighty wings: and then: my eyes pulled my chin up: and put my head on
the neck. :A huge Christmas tree towered above me - on each branch was
something. I spread my wings - and somehow divinely - by itself: it shot me:
between the golden cones: marzipan candies: and honey wheels: upwards to the
luminous star at the tip. I was waving with colored lanterns: ruffling the
candies: I swayed on silver chains and spat on the sparklers: until the
numbers appeared. For the first time: I didn't get further than the lobby.
It's clear. When I was a boy: one Christmas: I crawled under the tree
and kept very silence there: maybe for two hours. I didn't want to have
dinner: nor do anything: even nothing - Grandpa had to pull me out by the
legs. I really don't remember any other of my longer continuous activities
from those times: apart from sleepwalking sleep. I think it was my first
unconventional worldview - so completely mine - mainly because - no one else
from the family: would fit under that tree then: and so my first stay under
the lamp hit me right in the heart. I was lucky: even though: I flew in the
lobby for twenty minutes: and it cost me a fortune: and: I had to wait for
the City for another month. Sometimes you just can't leave the lobby.
Since then: I haven't been able to do it several times: once I walked
down the swan alley: once I was mottled cheetah in love: and once: or twice:
the countdown surprised me at sea: in coral reefs: between bubbles. In some
places it looked like the inside of an aquarium - I was tickled by bushy
plants: I turned the stars on the belly: I was devoured by a huge shoal of
flying: and neon fish: and: I found a pearl. I couldn't hurry: my body was
long: slippery and supple and full of the sea and colors: and when all was
gone: I felt empty - the sea suddenly flowed out of me: and then: I missed
it:
Such unfulfillment and incompleteness is in me often: I don't want to
get up and turn off the wonderful lamp: I stare into her dark hat: on the
word Aladding: what shines inside - I'm lying and sighing. That's the way it
should be probably: because: if a person gets into his personal paradise one
day: can hardly saturate in a few minutes - not even three hours is enough:
perhaps: not even weeks would be enough.
When the lamp told me enough on the attic: I was collecting myself
togheter for the longest time. I was crouching almost halfway through it:
and the tomb raider fever boiling in me properly. There were a lot of sacks
and boxes left in the back - which I didn't even peek into: and in the dark
corners the gold frames of old paintings shone. The red ten infuriated me: I
started jumping and yelling: go to hell: usurers: fucking peep show: and so
on - after a while I stopped enjoying it and I fell to the ground: but I
closed my eyes up to number 4: and: I was cursing at home too. Truth: then
it wasn't the fault of the system: it was my fault: I exceeded the two-day
health limit. I was rummaging through old things for six hours - I'm a
maniac.
And last time: at two weeks ago: I also couldn't get out of the lobby
:it's simply a big bait for people: which are a little off like me - to
wander in their crazy imagination. Aladding makes great money from us. I
just called the entrances and I thought to enter the City: but the Forest
was also seducting me: because: there you can do splendid things too - I was
pretty heated up: and I was hoping: that I still have a few minutes: but I
didn't.
But this time it seemed to me: that life is simply divine. A flagrant
wide smile widened my mouth: the wind blew in my ears and my lips tingled.
I remember it exactly: beacause it was when my old friend Roman called - and
my life has moved into a magic hat.
Roman's voice was some without juice: but it was great to hear
someone real from the past: it matched my lingering feelings: so I quite
liked to put on my pants and went out. As I walked out the door: I could
still feel the cold taste of snot under my nose: and my hands and feet were
frozen from that divine slide: which I left in the lobby. I was slipping
with Maroš and Henrieta on our knees: on the buttocks and backs: until it
got dark. And Maroš's mom then brought us cookies from the work. Quite as
before.
The cafe was called Mire. It also strummed on my string. Since I
don't smoke: I like a bit mist sometimes: so not even cobweb haze: with
whitch we were passing on stairs: didn't mind: and the name .. excellent.
I rarely show up in the district where I grew up: however: I can still say:
that: I know it. In Mire used to sell desserts: biscuits: pancakes: and
strawberries with cream. The dessert spoons were ringing on plates with
chocolate: and Snow White slept above the door. When I sat down opposite
Roman: my eyes fell on the pillar in the middle of the room: years ago:
dwarves smiled from it. (Maybe they're still there now: in the dark: they're
staring at the backs of pine boards. I'm convinced of that - the frescoes
will be from them in three hundred years.)
Roman looked like his old photos from school: even less than me. The
first thing I noticed was his hair - they looked normal: they shone nicely
next to each other: and they did not resemble the former intertwined threads
at all.
I guess I wouldn't even know him so sleek: if we just met somewhere
on the street - the bush - which he always had on his skull - seemed
indestructible - and even the hairdressers had due respect for it. The
second thing was the hand he gave me: Although the same size: but terribly
white and soft. And his eyes were kind of glassy.
- I'm glad you came - he said and smiled: but because of that hand
and eyes: it sounded rather sad.
- Sure - I was looking forward too.
- Many times you promised: that you will show up. (This did not sound
like a reproach: and his voice got some more bright color.)
- I felt kind of stupid with you.
- Why? .. We talked about you often.
- And I often thought of you - I said cheerfully and loudly - because
tears began to press into my eyes. I didn't even sit down properly: and I
was already moved. It happens to me almost always: when I'm trying to
express love. It can also be a guy: and I don't even have to like him: if we
drink together longer - I may have a fit of affection at some point. But
with Roman it was different: I was not drunk: he was really close to me:
even though: we haven't seen each other for a few years - I've probably
never had a more intimate friend.
We ordered a bottle of red and coffee. The barmaid had a black
miniskirt: and her thighs and then looks: which Roman and I exchanged: they
did something good with us: we were briefly united by a male conspiracy: and
the introduction was suddenly over. We started talking about old
acquaintances: about things: what we experienced together - who: whom: and
when met: where he works: with whom Linda lives: and: why Beata is still so
pretty.
- I saw her at the concert: she applauded there aristocratically.
Abnormally slow.
- Bastet.
- Michal told me she was completely divine.
- She will be his virus until death: when we meet: he always talking
about her.
- Do you remember: his tossing in the air for birthday?
- Shit: he had to hate us well.
- I was the only one: who didn't flee to sit down: when the teacher
came in. But I just held poor guy's feet.
At this last Roman's sentence: a mild ha-ha seizure possessed me and
for a minute: I attracted cafe attention: and also his shoulders and chin
shook a little. But only a little.
Long: very long: I didn't even mention her. I knew he was sad about
her - that he called me - and all those clues - I thought: that she left him
or something: and it seemed right to wait for him to start on his own. But
he didn't start: so I had to ask: there would be nothing to talk. In fact:
she was almost everything between us - Our little Natasha - in the fifth
class: the tallest of the girls: endowed with a magnetic manners - no
pronounced beauty: but already a woman. And Roman noticed it first: no
doubt.
I remember hot wavy lines: which he outlined with his hands: when we
stared at the girls on the playground: and his wrinkled approving chin.
About a week later: I told her on the same ground: that: she is beautiful -
I think she stopped growing that day.
In a few months: I was already skylarking like obsessed: because she
said - I'm the equal for everyone - and that made me a slave. She really
never made a difference: she was always nice: she always answered kindly
and she smiled kindly during it. Really bestial good girl. Soon there were
more of us: those they wanted more - more attention: more smiles: and more
everything: and I: in particular: chased her like a hundred fools. I
accompanied her to lunch: I watched her in the locker room: in physical
education. Once I even climbed a tree opposite the school clinic: and
watched: what the dentist was doing to her.
And I lied terribly. Unbelievably. That I have my own horse: that we
have two apartments: that I know exactly: what I want from her. She once
told me: that her two siblings were born deformed - or was she saying that
to a classmate and I happened to be there? ... I don't know exactly anymore.
Well, anyway: I didn't even take a deep breath: and a scary story about my
little brother Mario: who lived only twenty-eight hours: flew out of me. The
end. My imagination has always been fast: and as far as: the opposite sex is
concerned - even monstrously: and with artistic inclinations. I was
definitely very creative: in terms of courtship: and Natasha had to put a
lot of effort into - be the equal for everyone: and don't send me to hell.
Later: I wasn't such a terrible clown - I fell in love with another: or I
was not interested in all of them: and I got the style - but it can be said:
Natasha syndrome kept me more or less whole school.
We went to high school - each to a different one. Roman and I met
little for the first two years. If I take into account: that before: we were
together every day - for sure. Then it was restored again: and especially in
solo periods without girls: we were an inseparable couple. We also look like
brothers in the photos.
Somehow we lost our virginity at that time (Roman a lot more stylish:
dick one) we learned what about smoking on breaks: about spending the night
on school trips: and we successfully completed everything: with a graduation
party. From time to time we of course remembered Natasha: and we pulled her
out. Both - because she was still equal for everyone: although sometimes she
also needed to talk about some boy.
When she invited us to the prom: we were already great friends: and
if Roman and I had not agreed one evening: that: from now savagely: and
everyone for himself - it would definitely take until now. (Or at least
longer.) But then it was no longer possible. Beacause shortly before: we
tickled all together on my green bed for a long time: and: there wasn't
much light back then: so we were leaving from there some kind of hot and
red: and who knows: if the two of us would actually leave - but Natasha
suddenly bent over: stood up: and disappeared in the hall. I don't know: if
I was disappointed: that: she finally chose him - rather offended. And it
bothered me: that he was touching her. Even though I sat opposite him after
six years: and: I remembered those few of my meetings with THEM: something
still bit me faintly. But only for a moment - until Roman told me: that:
Natasha is dead.
The first thing what occurred to me then: was to laugh: and: I
suspect: that I also chuckled: somehow aside: and: I raised my upper lip
inappropriately.
- When did she die? - yes: now I know: that also this: I said with a
smirk.
- Two months ago.
- Why didn't you call me? - I said hard - but only because: I finally
began to control myself: or: I was starting to get close to it.
- You have another number: and: your mom doesn't live here anymore.
I couldn't find you: and tell the truth: I was pretty out to look for you -
Roman emphasized every single word.
- What has happened?
- She had an accident: she did not stop at crossroad - replied Roman:
and as he sighed: he had pictures in front of his glass eyes: which I very
wouldn't be interested in.
And you: where have you been? - I kept my eyes on him. I don't know
why: I was a judge.
- At home. She left me at Christmas: we no longer lived together:
when it happened.
A torturously long strike of the match left in my ears - I exhaled at
the same time as the man: who blew: at the side table: his next first smoke:
and: I reached my hand over the table: but again it sounded ridiculous -
condolences - former adolescents have contact with death. Natasha. Absurd.
I'd rather drink fast.
- How did you find me? - I coughed out: between two sips of wine.
It seemed to me: that: Roman was relieved - his voice was stronger: when he
explained to me: that he knew from Boris: where I work now: and told our
dispatcher: that a distant family member died.
- You're good - I praised him: because he was.
- I haven't done anything else in recent weeks: only stalked.
- You didn't have to so much - I sighed and swallowed the sour
coffee-wine saliva.
- I had to: I want to ask you something Filip.
For the first time in years: he really looked at me. :Namely: I felt
like he was really seeing me: not just some tragic stain. Finally: his face
began to resemble my partner from school.
- It will seem strange to you - he continued - you can easily reject
it: I will not be angry.
- Go on: let's see.
- I assume: you've already visited the land - do you have a lamp?
- Yes...
- Have you heard of genies?
- I read something: that they are working: that: Aladding develops:
and that: a complete transmission will be possible in a few years..
- It's already running. Natasha worked for Aladding. So far: quietly:
but: they have transferred about one hundred and fifty people since last
summer: and at any moment: they release an official message: and an
advertisement: that: they are looking for donors.
I poured the rest of the wine into me: I was excited - everyone's
will be fucked up about this - I kind of forgot: that we have a date with
death there: I was abruptly busy in my head: I had loud "shhh" around it: so
I don't know much from what Roman said. In fact: I've been making up a lot
of things: since he told me about her death. And after that: only fragments
really came to my brain .. I'm not interesting to them .. you will
definitely go through .. pour another drop of wine - but even so: it started
to brighten.
- She's in ..?
- They transferred her among the first - my cyberpunk friend nodded:
and slowly poured from fresh bottle - she has own space there: and access to
the Land at any time.
- And you want me to find her - I stated: but: not dry. :With fear
and expectation.
- She just packed up and left. She didn't tell me anything. I can't
get it out of my head. We were in the Land. They opened new Savannas at
Christmas. We split up: she said she had a mind for monkeys: but I knew she
was bored. She preferred to go to the City: and: to ocean language courses.
When I got home: she was gone.
- No message?
- Nothing. I felt like we were happy. You won't believe me: but: when
her parents invited me to the crematorium: it didn't hit me as accurately:
as her empty closets: and that silly smeared heart in the mirror.
- You said she didn't leave any message - I said nervously. Another
incredibly enticing strike tickled my ear.
- She drew it with lipstick. Long since. We never wiped the place.
Such romantic shit.
- Okay: and why do you think I'll find her? - I headed quickly
elsewhere. Even with my eyes. There under the tiling: on the middle pillar:
there were also many hearts: among the dwarves: in a fairytale crayon
country.
- She once told me: that you knew her best - he pronounced thoroughly
again: and looked me straight in the eyes (maybe he lied). And I don't
really hope you find her: she doesn't want to be found. I want you to try
it: yes: but above all: I want to ask you: to go to Aladding for tests: I'll
get you an invitation. :What you can't do: your genie could do it.
- And why don't you go?
- I told you I didn't pass. They are picky.
- Maybe this is too big sci fi for me.. - I grabbed my forehead: and
rubbed my eyelids. It was true: I had some problems with absorption: but not
so big (after all: it's The Lamp Age) :and in what he asked of me: I was
clear immediately.
- Does it hurt?
- What?
- When they're transferring you? When they create a genie?
- I doubt. And you get paid for it.
- And what if I don't pass?
- You'll pass: you are an artist: you have talent - my great friend
smiled at me. The time for flattery also came - he probably had in mind my
painting attempts: and strumming a guitar - sweetheart.
I said: I'd rather draw something for him - I also had one specific
thing in mind - at school we banished boredom: by drawing grimaces: and we
cried with laughter. Eventually: I had the opportunity to blame him: that:
he had a lot more fun with his creations: and that: I was a little
disappointed in him: because mine were much more funny: and then: we poured
ourselves wine: and drank on my mission. Yes: I accepted the job of agent
010 - a specialist in virtual worlds: and a heroic feeling: which began to
spread with wine along my body: straightened me up and concentrated - I
nodded seriously - I aptly pointed out and methodically searched in my
memory: when we then took the whole thing more thoroughly. In particular: I
tried to figure out: in what I could know Natasha better: than man with whom
she lived for several years. :And I didn't come up with anything. Roman
explained to me: it don't matter: what I can remember now - the important
thing is: what lie inside my brain.
- There are things: you have no idea. Faces: interiors - exactly
matching shades: full colors of your experiences: the whole your first sex:
and maybe: your midwife's smile - he explained soulfully to me: and modeled
his words with his hands - it must have happened to you: that: you saw
someone from the past in a dream: and: it looked exactly like it used to be:
it took place in the same places: even your feeling was the same: or you
behaved just as stupid as then.
- And I can never make it to the end - I nodded to him with wet
mouths.
- In the waking state: you can't remember something like that even in
rough lines - but it's there. As if it was disappearing just from your reach
In the lobby: you can also find yourself in distant places: the lamp often
works with the same pieces of brain as a dream. But that: where you find
yourself: you can't influence. And sometimes it turns out weird.
- Yep - I grunted: and I told him about my orange strawberries: and:
the mobilization of the fighting swans.
- Imagine: that you have unlimited access to this archive of yours:
that: you can freely deal with all parts of your mind: and: you will roughly
understand: what your genie can do.
- Roman completed his long thought: and looked at me waiting for my
amazement. And I was amazed: not for the first time: and not so much: but I
was.
- And that's not all. - He didn't want to give peace to my nerves -
to start: one hundred stores of space ... :Do you know how much is one
store?
- One hundred square meters.
- Cubical - corrected me: and outlined imaginary cube - and there you
can do anything: build pyramids: dig cloud tunnels: flood it with the sea:
and live on an island in the middle - anything: even hanging all day with
your balls down. Natasha's colleague told me this: he met his genie.
Apparently as one of the few: as far as I know: Natasha never had this
happiness: they mostly ignore their donors.
- That's bad: isn't it? :What if mine will snub me too
- Then we're fucked. :But: in my opinion: sooner or later: everyone
will succumb. It attracts me incredibly - to meet myself: this is perhaps
the biggest part in the whole thing. And it must be taken into account:
that: the oldest of them is less than a year old. We will wait. And you
still have to think of Natasha - especially before they transfer you: you
have to instill: that you have to look for her.
It occurred to me: that: I did not understand: how they could not
considered him an exceptional personality in Aladding: and I told him so. (I
almost cried again.) He shrugged and said: that: they maybe found him some
hidden psychosis: or manic tendencies.
- I hope they will not mind my Alzheimer - I laughed.
- Just don't be a cop - Roman added and we both laughed. :Natasha
wasn't so much dead anymore.
As we rose from the mud of Mire: the slimy haze was already quite
thin: and the lights were blurring strangely in front of me. We agreed: that
we will call - or have a date. Roman said: that: we could meet in Land: for
example: somewhere in the City: if we'll manage to sync: and thinking firmly
over each step - he disappeared around the corner.
The night air did me good: on the way home I even contemplated. From
that: what Roman told me: from a few hints and clues - he had some idea:
inside of him: why she left him.
Natasha was very ambitious: her interests: almost all her free time:
she subordinated to the desire to mean something: and to earn. Calmer Roman
- much less purposeful: and nervous of himself: did not participate much:
in her projects: but otherwise: they understood each other very well: she
did not rework him in any particular way: did not cause complexes in him. At
times: their opinions diverged ugly: but: everything always settled quickly.
They must have both said to themselves that it is natural: or opposites
attract: or: something similar: at least until Natasha said something
completely different: and disappeared. "My lack of personal hunger" - this
is how Roman defined it: when he came across her disappearance: and failure
in donor tests must have underlined it all in his mind.
The next morning: I got up hard. My body moved without thinking for a
long time: from one ritual to another: the cold water did not work. Only at
the biscuits: which I ate violently: my consciousness awoke: and: we
immediately began to long for each other with the lamp. If I didn't have to
go to work: our love would come true quickly.
Around noon: Roman called - Does Tuesday suit you: next week?
- I'm taking a vacation.
- Okay: it's on Garden street: but you probably know: number 444: you
will show the invitation in the lobby. It should come to you no later than
Monday - in the middle of this sentence: behind his voice: another spoke.
:Female. At the end it rised up: but I didn't understand: what was asking.
- I have to go Filip - he said quickly and a little quieter: or: he
was already putting his hand down with the phone - I don't know - one way or
another: I managed to say yet: that in the evening: I am will go to Land:
and we hastily agreed: to meet in the Ocean. :Like white sharks.
I have heard: that: many people cannot form a clear desire in their
minds. They are not able to firmly grasp their desires: and therefore: they
cannot change their appearance in c Land. And since this ability is also
necessary to call the entrances: they: can't even leave the lobby - They
wouldn't even be able to come back. I feel like I know what's behind it -
the world is full of things: having brothers and sisters - they need to be
collected and improved and upgraded - after reaching one: the other attacks
in a flash: and there is no liberation. If a person cannot face this: it
will consume his brain and Aladding will lose client.
I also have occasional lapses - I would say that: my mental hands are
weak and slippery. It takes me a long time: until I concentrate. But
usually I just exhale longer: I'll slowly imagine colored arcs around me:
inscriptions: City: Ocean: Forest: Games: and suddenly - hop - they are
here. And similarly: when I want to transform: I'm concentrating: I'm trying
to model the shape of my idea: and other things: other details will complete
virtual forces.
Of course: that often nothing happens - I can clearly see myself as
the god Poseidon with a trident - on the neck of a giant sea snake: or: I
can almost feel myself taking the form of a purple unicorn and ... Nothing.
Only genie can do the real wilderness here.
Since I know about them: always makes me attentive quickly: when I
notice bolder curves - shape: which sticks out too much - a more original
creature. Roman taught me: that it's best to try the same thing on yourself
right away. If the transormation fails: the probability increases: that it
is a genie.
But sometimes it doesn't work: just because it just doesn't work -
just from minute to minute - or because - turn into your dream: is probably
much easier: as to turn into someone else 's dream. But Roman is a living
master in this. Just a minute is enough: and a small sea turtle with dotted
armor swims against her mirror image. Sometimes it can annoy such a turtle -
it also happens: that she is flattered: and stops for a piece of speech:
but: it can also be very frightening for her: and she will lost in turquoise
bubbles.
This is how our meetings in the Land take place every time. We talk
quietly and he transforms constantly. When we first swam together in the
ocean: I was pretty nervous about it. He was shark only a moment (by the
way: he was snow white) :as soon as he noticed me: he was already trying to
imitate a heart-shaped inflatable fish. Once I lost him completely for a few
minutes. I tried to orient myself in a herd of penguins in purple tailcoats:
and in the meantime: he turned into a toothy mother-of-pearl.
To language school - there we headed: we arrived just before the end
of teaching. We only managed to take a class where Natasha learned Greek.
Roman was accosting students there: who knew nothing: and saw no one: gained
contact for a small lace jellyfish: to which he failed to transform: and it
was just time to go breathe.
And it was no different: not even the next day - I still had to be
careful: what was happening around me. Over the weekend: we were still
together in the City: and: once we went to play the war. And then it was
Tuesday: and: I had diarrhea like before graduation.
I don't know: if I slept at all: but let's say: that: I woke up at
half past three in the morning: and: I was completely clear: no
resuscitation.
I left out the biscuits: I poured coffee into myself until about
eight o'clock: the water was as cold as hell this time. Very purposefully:
I kept trying to think about my role - to the fairly ordinary light green
building of Aladding - I entered by the most balanced step: and with the
coldest expression on my face: in short: so that everyone will not
immediately notice: that: I am shitty until behind my ears. My white
invitation: made a nice symmetrical expression: on the face of a young man:
sitting behind a round desk: and the young woman: who appeared in a few
minutes: and took me to the elevator - looked the same.
But only at first glance. She had a large sports watch on her hand
- it didn't fit to the elegant rest of her clothes: and: she didn't fit to
it very well either: with broad shoulders: and boyish gait - a T-shirt
rather suited her: or jogging suit: or a kimono. The speech she spoke was
tight for her: trimmed just above the knee.
- Around twelve: we should be done: if you meet our requirements:
Aladding invites you to lunch.
- And if not: I'm inviting you - I said promptly: I was nervous.
She gave me a longer cold look and didn't smile - I liked her -
already this her watch was very sympathetic for me - it looked really awful.
- We'll hold you for two more hours after lunch - she continued just
as pragmatically - we'll start now.
On the fifth floor: we walked a short dark corridor: one of the doors
was ajar: music played behind (jazz: sweet trumpets): she opened with her
elbow: seated me opposite herself: and we started.
First I filled out a questionnaire: namely: she wrote down my answers
to her questions. Along the way: I thought about her name: because down in
the hall I didn't remember it: and: I became more and more interested in it:
mainly because of her skin: which looked extremely attractive in the yellow
artificial light. (It was skin type: velvety smooth.) When we finished the
questionnaire: she gave me another longer look: and asked me (not so much
pragmatically anymore) :to tell her about my experiences from the lobby:
what I saw there: what touched me and such.
Roman pointed this out to me: so I wasn't surprised: and else: it is
my favorite topic: I like to talk about these things: so I think that: I
managed to impress her: and when I described to her a swan alley: in which I
sometimes walk: she brightly smiled at me.
- They're a little taller than me: and: I know: that one of them is
mine: and that: they are lined up for scramble. Maybe I saw something like
that: in the book: as a child: or I dreamed it: I don't know - it's
beautiful.
- And then?
- Then we fly - she will stretch her neck at me: and peck me to
the shoulder: that's how we get to know:: and then: we fly together between
warm snowflakes: and everywhere is brownish-yellow light and pieces of fog.
- I'll come back to that cheetah - she said softly like women: which
they mention children's mischief. Maybe she had rehearsed it. If so: the
illusion was perfect: already for a long time: I felt special: and
interesting. Only I still didn't know her name.
- When you're running - she continued - are you running from
something? Do you feel that you are leaving something behind?
No: probably not: definitely not consciously: I rather enjoy speed
and jumps. I read: that: the cheetah does not touch the ground in two
phases of run: when he has all four legs crouched under belly - and when:
they are fully extended in front of and behind him: and I realize this. :And
that I'm the fastest.
- I understand - she stood up: and came to me. For a second: I was
afraid: that: I sent myself: somehow inadvertently: to out: and is going to
say goodbye to me: but no. She led me to a room at the end of the hall: and
told me: that the last part of the tests takes place in Land c.
- I'll say goodbye to you here: maybe I'll see you later - she handed
me her thin fingers - Please lie down under this lamp - she pointed at sofa
with a strange white appliance: it was more like a big mixer - it's a
transfer lamp - responded to my dull look - and a colleague will be waiting
for you in the lobby: actually waiting already. See you: Mr. Lemy.
"See you" was good: excellent - from her tiny mouth: and when I
opened my eyes in the lobby: and my old French bed spread everywhere: I felt
really great - like at home.
Colleague examiner surprised me a little: probably: that was also his
goal. He looked exactly like me that day. He grew up in front of me
suddenly: tossed two of my orange strawberries in his mouth: and instead of
greeting: he asked: what would I do: if I met myself. But I've already
thought about this too: and as soon as I swallowed my appearance (I often
feel kind of tortuous) :I replied: that: I would be interested in a few
things. That's right. It would probably be useless to deceive these people:
what they read in human brains at breakfast: and besides: I was circumvented
by the suspicion: that: this is not even a human.
- Why are you here? - he simply saw into me: and so: I said
everything: about Natasha and Roman: and: about the three of us: and he
meanwhile turned into a large brown rat. From what he wanted to know after
my confession: should look more like an insect: the best green grasshopper:
I like rats. He asked - Have you an aversion to something: resentment: to a
human: an object: or: an animal?
I explained to him: not at all - I am bothered a bit by hard beetles:
but: I know: it's a pose. I used to admire an older boy: he was my role
model: and how he hated frogs painfully: it seemed dude to me. So I came up
with my own phobia: and: I can't control it today: when I see hard green
wing-cases and jointed legs: I have a shiver really.
Now I'm going to give you some tasks - said a large brown rat. He
did not encourage me in any way: at no hand: he did not let me know: that he
understood me: he didn't even raise an eyebrow: but still I noticed: that
he has almost human facial expressions: and very special: he had a real
face: behind which a specific person stood: I knew that: it was like looking
at a master portrait: and knowing for sure: that the man or woman on it -
had a real models: with their unmistakable ideas: whims and moods.
- Are you a genie?! - I jumped into his speech.
His facial expression was more than an answer - I'll give you some
tasks now - repeated more emphatically (he could fulfilled me three wishes
rather) - and then - I would like to see your favorite place in the Land.
I didn't insist: I focused on his tasks: I discarded the
inappropriate: I added the missing: and: looked for the corresponding:
logical and close to me. At the end: the entrances grew up around us: and he
asked me: where are we going?
- I probably prefer the Lobby: when I think about it like that: I
often stay there: but: if we have to go to the Land: then ... I don't know -
I sighed - it's hard: finding one place. I like to swim in the Ocean:
sometimes it seems too turquoise to me: but even the City sometimes seems
too ornate to me. I rarely go to the center: roulette and discos: it's
nothing to me: but on the other hand - a few times: we had a great time
there with friends. It's also great in the Forest: according to the mood:
when I have my running moment: I turn into a deer there: or: most recently a
cheetah: since you opened those Savannas ... I don't know: I probably won't
choose.
- Where do you go: when you want to be alone? - he whispered to me:
he literally put me on the right path and nudged me.
- See? I have felt several times: that your questions are only
formal: that you know the answer in advance. And even now it is so.
- Does it mean: you already know: where we're going?
- Yes: we will go to the City - I said almost triumphantly (according
to my smile) :and we went.
The city was huge: sky-high: futuristic: glittering: comic: bright:
and unfathomably and unnameably bizarre and fantastic. And I was quite in
the mood for it all - in that supernatural society: from thousand and one
nights.
- Shall we take the flying carpet? - I expressed my feelings out loud
Again. I couldn't resist: I have a weak nature and: moreover: flying around
the city with just hands: it wouldn't be stylish. A means of transport is
required: and as wild as possible.
- I'll leave it to you: but before that: you could turn into a woman
- a slender Asian girl with green eyes spoke from behind my back (that face:
pretty and gentle and the same again) - and try not to look like me: I want
the own idea from you.
This time I was really surprised. It could have occurred to me. I
slowly closed my eyes in my head: I exhaled to far away: and gradually: I
tried: from the feet upwards: to model a fragile round body. It was a
difficult sculpture: it seemed to me that I was hewing a piece of stone: it
took me one long minute. At one point: I felt a strong despair: that I can't
do it: my thoughts ran away: and the figure: which I had in my head: was
shattered into a thousand and one microscopic grains. I opened my eyes: to
say goodbye. But then a slender hand touched my smooth shoulder with long
fingers: and a smiling voice said - good: Mr. Lemy - I guess you were
captivated by non-superficial beauty of my external colleague - I think we'll
say goodbye here. You can come back.
- Aren't we going to the City?
- No: we won't - the place: you selected will be your contact place.
If your genie decides to meet you: he will look for you there. Her last
words sounded in a fairy tale echo: it was probably a farewell gift: as well
as: the way what she left. At first she became translucent: and from half a
waist down she began to sharp. Her legs turned into a smoky triangle
beginning under the emerald in her navel: and ending with a flickering tip.
Then she put her hands on her chest: bowed: and vanished.
A thin strip of smoke: what was left there after her: smelled strong:
and when I returned to Aladding: I was sneezing twice. I was in a hurry:
but: person: what she told me on the other hand: bless you: she wasn't the
girl I was looking forward to. She was taller and perfectly elegant: she
didn't let me speak: she congratulated me: and: with natural maternal
non-violence: she dragged me upstairs for lunch. :Furthermore: everything
went easily officially: and: with a touch of medical precision - that: to
make me feel safer. After lunch: and administration (I signed the blue and
green forms) some two men in white put me back under the lamp. They warned
me: that after reading: I could be disoriented: and sweaty - I should not be
scared: that this is normal: and otherwise: I don't have to worry about
anything anymore: because: everything will go smoothly: and without my
consciousness.
And that's exactly how it was. I remembered absolutely nothing: I
also forgot about money: which should have been credited to my account: and
even that little athlete blew out from my mind completely. At the back of
my skull I had a sweaty rolled place: and this wet stain kept me very busy.
I was running my fingers through it: I straightened the tangled strands:
and stroking my neck. To tell the truth - I don't really know - how I got
home from there.
Only after a heavy dreamless sleep: at the same time with awakening
(as can be seen: thoughts usually visit me early in the morning) :I
understood: that I did it: and immediately: as usual: I began to fear: that
what if. :What if the genie will shit at me: and what if we pass through:
and: what if he doesn't find her: and what if he finds her: and: he won't
want to tell me: or: she forbids him: and what if I meet him .. me??
I repeated to Roman.
- It's beyond us already: we've done our best: now we will wait. You
will show up in the gallery every day: maybe it won't take a year.
- And what if will?
- So we'll wait two years.
Whatever was going on: he was as calm as gravel: what is poured on
the graves: From an early age: he was like this: the whole made of sheet
metal: he also drank boiling tea straight from the kettle. But I don't.
Immediately I imagined two years: 720 days: and how much depends on me: and
the fear in me began to thicken to panic. I have a tendency to this - to
fear - if things depend only on me: and to experience horror: if I can't
influence anything at all. Until at the moment: when I took over again
unfulfilled: and: unfinished: and even enchanted and divided - under the
lamp: where the darkness is greatest: only then did it occur to me - this is
perhaps the only possible situation - when I can count on myself in
everything.
It took five days. Every night I quickly overran the vestibule. As
soon as possible. Already in the introductory darkness: during the initial
countdown: I tried to focus on the entrances: and: as soon as they appeared:
I fired into the gothic arch: behind which the City pulsates. Sky-blue
translucent wavy hovercraft (my favorite) in ten minutes: took me to the
southeastern suburbs: where the sun always shines (It's permanent early
evening or night in the center) :and where are all the living museums and
galleries. There: in the middle of a renaissance exposition together with
David: Bacchus and with all people and deities from the Sistine Chapel: I
was waiting for myself.
From the beginning: I only thought about it: when I will show up. I
was turning sharply: staring blankly and secretly imitated everyone. Later I
was calmed by the temple atmosphere: and those masterpieces: sooner or
later: they get everyone: and especially creative people: they grab them by
the neck and knock them to their knees.
Yesterday I was crawling again alongside Michelangelo: and the music:
which was playing for me (Across the universe by the Beatles) made my body
almost liquid. A second before it happened: I felt with some wolfish sense:
that it is close: and I froze.
- So what do you think I should look like - my own voice said right
in front of me - have you figured it out yet? - sounded higher and squeaky:
but clearly it was mine: also the way how pronounced sh. Not even a draft
moved around me.
- And you can call me Filip. Take it that we are namesakes. - He
shouted behind my back: and when I turned around - a thin shaggy boy: who
was walking against me in a red T-shirt - was me - exactly from the times:
when I loved Natasha. Shirt: sneakers: bitten nails - everything fit.
Somehow I couldn't start talking: it was very touching for me again
(and the black bird flew across the universe ...) It's simple force - to
see: how you changed: the hands: which even now seem quite thin to you: they
have become much thicker in the meantime: since you first looked at them
with boyish eyes: and the careless smile: what you have: used to be a bit
more carefree.
- The boys told me: you'd be out for a while - said Filip junior
through that carefree smile.
- Sorry: you can't prepare for something like this is - but okay - I
finally babbled out: and I immediately wanted to laugh from the joy: from
pride: and also: from whole that incredible self-talk.
- An uncontrollable attack of stress - can have irreversible
consequences at your age - he looked at me through his baby's sparkles: he
was really nice. Now I'm swimming here in the lobby: and it occurred to me
again: maybe I'm Narcissus. Or it's natural: when you look at something:
which won't come back. Maybe that's how the father looks at his son. I'm not
clear on that. The only thing: which is certain is: since I said goodbye to
him: I still have his face (mine) in front of my eyes. And another thing:
which doesn't get out of my head is: that: we understood each other very
well yesterday. Normally I don't get along very well with myself: my inside:
too often doesn't meet my expectations: and mostly fuck my efforts. And
yesterday I had a friend.
When I assured little Filip: that I am fine: he asked: how is Roman.
- I should thank him: I wouldn't be without him. He will surely be
surprised: how quickly his plan came to fruition.
- The plan will came to fruition: only when you find Natasha.
- Yes. We should go now.
I said: don't understand: but: I do - that was the stress attack. He
approached me: and took my hand. His palm closed quickly with my fingers:
and when he pressed everything around us began to revolve. The more distant
parts of the gallery: were lost outlines: colors and shapes were merged into
a special rainbow with a scattered spectrum: and: it approached us lightly
after a great dignified spiral. It reminded me of a waltz: the world was
spinning in triple time: and we: I and me: we held hands in the middle like
cute siblings at a wedding. And then suddenly the rainbow came to us: and
just as easily: maybe even easier: developed into a wide grassy panorama.
It took a while: until I got used to the orange African sun: and sharp
colors of the Savannah: Filip led me with a tickling rustle: we were silent.
Suddenly: a few tens of meters from us: gazelles ran out: and looking
at them: I felt the usual desire to change my tall silhouette to a long one
with a curved back: and with slender sinewy legs. Oval spots already started
to appear on my left forearm: and: my fingers stiffened with the desire to
stretch claws ..
But then a lying place appeared in the grass in front of us: in the
middle of which a tanned woman dozed: and: two children's heads rose: and
looked in our direction.
- Oh: what a bronze - Filip whistled loudly.
